Happy birthday to me! 47! I've leveled up another year. That sounds way better than another year "older"; yes, my body may be slowly declining (although I'm trying really hard to fight against that), but I feel like I'm refining with each year. Each year, I offer myself a little more grace as I continue on the path of life: grace for the mistakes in the past and grace for strength for the future. I realize the person I was led me to be where I am...no matter how flawed or utterly wrong that person was in her life views or choices. I embrace that sincere-hearted version of me and try to infuse her with strength to heal and change. I will never deny my age. I'm not chasing youth. I am at the top of the mountain looking to the horizon at the end of life...and it's beautiful. I'm not ready to reach it yet, but I'm not avoiding it either. I'm trying to live each moment, each day, each month, each year with intention and purpose. I'm trying to savor and embrace all the beautiful things of this life while learning to sit with the ache of disappointments and hurt instead of trying to immediately fix it or reason it away. I'm learning to lean on my Savior and allow His grace to sustain me...and I wouldn't wish away any of the 47 years I've lived. I would be lying if I said there weren't moments I wish would have never happened, but even those have contributed to the person I am today so...I give myself grace, His grace.
This year, like past years, I elongated my birthday celebrations over several days. The Saturday before my birthday (Feb. 28th), Jeff and I enjoyed my traditional birthday date. He took me to the Communal in downtown Provo for brunch then we walked down to the Provo Bakery to get my cake. On the way home, we stopped at Costco to get my roses. Jeff has bought me roses for every birthday. At first, he would buy a rose for every year I was celebrating. That got a little complicated because roses are usually just sold by the dozen, so right now, I get 4 dozen roses. Once I turn 49, I'll get 5 dozen roses until I max out that number.
Sunday (March 1st) we hosted my family birthday dinner. That morning, Jonas made me breakfast. The sweetest part was that he was fasting so it was a bit of a sacrifice to do so. I kept telling him he didn't have to, but he insisted and he wouldn't let me help. I love his tender heart! That evening, like every year, we had ranch chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans. All the kids commented on how they knew what we would be having for dinner and dessert. Even Carter knew it would be lemon cake for dessert. Thankfully, everyone enjoys this meal as much as I do...and I don't have to think of what to have every year. I was showered with incredibly thoughtful and meaningful gifts. I am to the point where I really don't expect (and certainly don't need) gifts, yet the kids surprised me with them anyway. Jonas got me a cross necklace and wrote me a sweet letter that recognized my love for the Lord and my testimony. I've always wanted a cross necklace too. The Armstrongs got me a new hygiene bag for travel. They know how much I love to travel and it was a really nice bag. Danny ordered me chocolate from this place in Kansas. I love dark chocolate and he knew that. The Irons gifted me a beautiful card and a pedicure with the girls. However, the promise of a gift wasn't enough for Carter. He wanted to give me an actual gift to open. Laurin said he went into his stash and labored over what he could give me. He decided on a pack of gum...something he treasures most of all. He sacrificed it for me. Dallin and Audrey gifted me a date night with them to Just Add Chocolate (which was the gift card my sisters gave me! Great minds think alike) along with another sweet card. Jeff also gave me a thoughtful, heartfelt letter (which is a bit of a sacrifice for him because words and writing aren't his strong suit). With the letter, he gifted me some cash because he knows it's easier for me to spend birthday money.
Throughout the week leading up to my birthday, I sprinkled birthday fun into every day. I grabbed several food freebies, enjoyed a relaxing pedicure, and splurged on some new outfits with the money Jeff gave me. The evening of my actual birthday (Thursday, March 5th), Jeff and I went out to Cheesecake Factory for dinner then to the first production for our season tickets to Hale Center Theater. I'm pretty sure this was Jeff's least favorite production for the year, but, especially because it was my birthday, he happily endured it. It was called Hallmarked. It was a total spoof on Hallmark movies and it was hilarious...or so I thought. There were so many references to chick flicks and other primarily female watched shows.
