Amber returns...

Six months ago, Amber unexpectedly returned from her mission. She had only served 6 months and was prepared to serve 18 when circumstances were presented that necessitated a return home. It has, at times, been a rocky road to her return. There have been conflicts, doubts, discouragement, but she never waivered in her desire to finish what she started. Today she finally got the opportunity to start that "finish". She received word on Monday that she was to board a plane on Wednesday to head back to Barcelona. While it was difficult for her to leave, she courageously boarded her flight. There were fears and anxieties, but she maintained determined to reach Barcelona. Life isn't always what we expect. Even when things are rough (and perhaps more so), it is important to seek peace through the Prince of Peace. We are so proud of Amber (and Jacob)! This is going to be harder than what she may have ever expected it to be, but the hard things are usually the best for us. Buena suerte Hermana Southwick! Te queremos mucho!!

Another white dove...

Today marks the due date for the sweet baby I lost due to miscarriage earlier this year. This is my second miscarriage...my second white dove...my second angel baby. How do you explain a loss that was never tangible? How do you remember without resentment? How do you find the strength and hope to keep trying? I have battled with these questions. I have fallen prey to discouragement and doubt. Conflict has crept into our marriage as we have tried to have a child without success. Something that should be so beautiful and miraculous has become so frustrating and mechanical. So how do you mourn what was but may never come to be? How do you shoulder the burden of infertility? How do you maintain a positive perspective? You choose to! Today I made a choice. I chose to wear a Wonder Woman t-shirt to remind myself how wondrous it is to be a woman. I chose to take Jonas on an adventure instead of wallowing in the abyss of loss. I chose to celebrate what I have rather than grieve what could have been. I chose to be kind. I chose to find joy in the small moments. I chose to love. The choices aren't always easy. There are moments when I succumb to emotions instead of choices; then, I remember. I remember that life is good. I remember that I am blessed. I remember that I am loved...and so are my angel babies. The tears unexpectedly came off and on throughout the day. The heartache was still present...but so was laughter...so was joy. I took Jonas for a train ride from Heber to Vivian Park in Provo Canyon. He loved being on a "huge" train. He loved that he could run around without being strapped to a carseat. He continuously shouted out things he could see along the ride (e.g., cows, tractors, etc.). I enjoyed watching him play on the playground while they switched the engine in preparation for the return ride. I relished the quiet, reflective moments I had on the ride back while Jonas slept. By the end of the adventure, my heart was full...not of sorrow (although it was present), but with gratitude and love. Life isn't easy. Tears have sprinkled my journey, but those tears fade. The blessings come...maybe not in the way I expect them, but they come. My joy is greater than the sorrow I've felt. I know my Father in Heaven loves me. I know He knows what is best. I will trust in Him.

Harvest Festival and Homecoming

As you all know, I love this time of the year! I get giddy when I think about the upcoming holidays. I love experiencing all the parties, festivals, sights, sounds and tastes of the season. Today was no exception. To kick off the start to our holiday season, I took Jonas, Daniel and Jeff to the Harvest Festival and Pumpkin Show at Thanksgiving Point. There were HUGE pumpkins on display to be judged. I seriously don't know how they grow so big! Jonas just kept walking around saying, "That pumpkin's HUGE!". There were food vendors, a small farmer's market, sidewalk chalk and hula hoops for the kids, and of course pumpkin carvers. It wasn't a very big festival, but it was enough to make us all smile...even Jeff. (He's always a good sport when it comes to these kinds of things.)

That evening, Dallin attended his first high school dance - SHHS Homecoming 2017! Can he really be that old? I keep asking myself that question each time things like this come up. I just remember a spunky 12 year old. It has been a privilege to watch him mature (even though he definitely has his teenage moments) and grow into the kind, obedient young man he is. He had a blast at the dance! He had a big group of friends to go with. I am grateful for good friends...and good clean fun! Here's to many more dances and high school fun!

Dallin and Madi

A trip for a tractor

As many of you know, Jeff is a plumbing contractor. Because of this, he has a lot of toys that he likes to refer to as business equipment. One such toy has been a John Deere 110 backhoe that he uses to dig trenches, replace water mains, pull well pumps, etc. We have also used it on our little "farm" as we've done home improvement projects, harvesting, planting and so much more. Needless to say, it has been pretty essential in our every day lives; however, it has been getting a little older, and Jeff has contemplated an upgrade. Up until this point, the talk of a new backhoe has been a future oriented conversation, but when someone approached him to buy the John Deere, our future idea became a present necessity. Fortunately, Jeff was able to quickly locate the new backhoe he wanted to buy. It's a  Kubota M62. It is bigger with more digging and hauling capacity. It was everything he wanted and the price was right...except it was in Kansas! Yup...we had to drive to Kansas to pick it up and bring it home. This turned out to be the best three days Jeff and I have had together in a long time! We left all the kids at home (under Amber's and Gma Penny's supervision) and headed back to Kansas. I have to admit, I never imagined I'd return to Kansas...and at least not so soon. Since it was just Jeff and I, we didn't have to worry about keeping kids happy on a road trip. We were able to make our 30 hour drive in three days...and find a little time to stop to see some sights. Instead of driving through Denver, we decided to take a little longer route to Wichita by going through Wyoming and Nebraska. I have never been to Nebraska so it was just an excuse to mark it off my list. We left Monday afternoon (9/18) and drove to Wyoming where we stayed in Cheyenne the first night. By the time we got there, everything was closed so there wasn't much to do or see. We stayed in an old hotel downtown and when we left at 3:00 a.m. the next morning (9/19), we drove by the capitol and a park with large cowboy boots. It was all we saw of Wyoming.

The beautiful sunrise over the Nebraska horizon

We drove through to North Platte Nebraska where we stopped for breakfast. While there, we visited the Golden Spike Tower. This tower overlooks the largest train depot in the world. There is over 400 miles of track in an 8 mile stretch of land. It was pretty incredible to watch them shuffle engines and cars to get certain trains out to their next destination. It was a random stop, but that's what makes these trips so much fun. When would I ever stop to see a train depot?

Before leaving North Platte, we made one more stop. We visited Scout's Rest Ranch - the home of Buffalo Bill Cody. William F. Cody settled in North Platte after he retired his Wild West Show. In fact, this is where he first held what would eventually become the rodeo we know today. The home was closed so we quickly walked around the grounds and moved on. I have always been fascinated with the stories of the Wild West and the heroes and heroines of that time. It was fun to see the house of one of those Wild West legends.

We finally left North Platte and quickly made our way to Wichita where we met up with the Kubota sales rep to finalize the purchase of the backhoe. I swear Jeff was like a little kid in a candy store!! He was so excited about the new machine, but he still let me drive it first. Now that's true love!

Since we'd already been to Wichita and didn't see the need to stay there, we decided to drive back up to stay in Salina, which is right off the I-70. We loaded up the tractor and headed north, but before we got to the hotel, we stopped in Lindsborg. We happened on this little town during our trip here with the kids in April. Laurin never lived in this area, but I kind of fell in love with the little Scandinavian town. Evidentially, there were several Swedish immigrants that settled this area and the town has maintained it's Scandinavian charm. Dala horses line the Main Street. There are shops with Swedish toys and goodies. We decided to have dinner at the Swedish Crown. I love that Jeff will be a little adventurous with me and try new foods. There wasn't anything super crazy about the cuisine - just a few herbs and spices that changed the flavors of the food. It was really good. I wish we had gotten there a bit earlier. I would have loved to explore some of the shops, but I'm grateful that I was able to return to see and experience what I did.

Wednesday (9/20), we started another long day of driving. Today's drive was less adventurous (not as many stops) but definitely more beautiful as we drove through Denver into Glenwood Springs. Still, Jeff and I found little treasures along the way. Because we were pulling a heavy load, we needed to stop to fill up with gas more frequently. On one occasion, we stumbled across a little farming community. There were no signs for gas stations anywhere, but we figured we could find one. Luckily, we were correct. It was just a small station with two pumps and an old gentleman with a funny sense of humor (see the picture of the sign on his window below). While Jeff filled up and chatted with him, I walked next door to see an abandoned mechanics shop. It was an old shop with only one car bay. There were two older cars outside the shop. You could tell they had been there for awhile. The paint was peeling and had faded with continuous exposure to the sun, but it was what was inside that surprised me. I decided to peek in the large front window to see the condition of the interior and discovered at least a half dozen more classic cars simply sitting there. It was like looking into a time capsule! There are little treasures like that everywhere you go...if you're willing to stop and explore. It was so cool!

Before we left the little town, we drove by the giant Catholic church. The gentleman at the gas station informed us it was built by German refugees after WWI in the 1920s. It seemed so out of place. This town was so small. There were seriously only about 50 houses total. There were no stores, only one gas station, and one eating establishment; yet, they had this big beautiful church. Jeff and I walked around the exterior then found an open door to look inside. It was pretty impressive. Just another treasure along the way.

We drove a little further before stopping to fill up again and grab some lunch. We found this cute little diner off the I-70 and decided to stop. I have always enjoyed eating at local restaurants when I travel. Sometimes it doesn't always work out to my benefit, but most of the time I enjoy the food and the ambiance of the local people. This place was no different. Even though I have never really had a desire to see the midwest states, I have enjoyed the opportunities that have led me here. There are some amazing, down-home individuals who live there. I wish their hospitality would permeate to other places as well.

Finally, we made it to Colorado. We stopped once more to fill up with gas before driving through the beautiful Rocky Mountain range. I loved seeing all the fall colors! I get giddy thinking about the change in seasons and all the holidays coming up. As much as I loved the drive, I loved my travel buddy even more. It was simply nice to have some time alone. There were no distractions, no errands to run, no chores to complete, no kids to satisfy. It was a time for us to reconnect as husband and wife. I know I am a lucky woman. Jeff has my heart. We don't always see eye to eye. We both have strong personalities and strong opinions. We have had our arguments and have even spoken hurtful things, but I have never stopped loving him. We have never stopped trying. We know we were divinely led to each other. He is my other half. He completes me in so many ways. Where I am weak, he is strong and vice versa. I think it's important for us to find these moments to remember that. It's vital that in our every day responsibilities that we still make time to connect as husband and wife - not just mom and dad or business partners. More than any of the random, fun stops we made, I simply enjoyed being with my best friend.

Thursday (9/21), we made our way home. It was nice to only have a five hour drive after two long days of driving. It was good to be home to see the kids, but I wouldn't have traded the time I had with Jeff. Next time he wants to buy a new toy, I'm there!