Happy birthday to me! 44!

If I was unsure about being in my mid-40s last year, I am certainly there this year! Can I just say that feels so weird to me? In so many ways, I don't feel "old" or even "middle aged"...yet here I am. Still, I fully embrace every year! I earned all 44 of them. Some years were easier than others, but all have taught me and stretched me. I wish I could say that I'm done with all the emotional (and physical) growth this life has to offer, but I know I'm far from perfect and far from a life with no opportunities for such growth. As I reflected on all the ways I've been stretched over the last year, I can't say that I really want to repeat any of them, but I also wouldn't trade them. I wish my heart didn't have to carry so much hurt sometimes, but the fact that the hurt exists illustrates the amount of love my heart can hold. Life is a matter of perspective. I can choose to dwell on the hurt or I can embrace the love. I can choose to see the pain or I can bask in the moments of joy (no matter how big or small they can be). I can choose to be offended or I can see ways in which offense was never meant. I know emotions are spontaneous. Sometimes they can be so overwhelming that my subsequent behaviors reflect more of a reaction rather than purposeful action. But there will always come a moment when reflection can occur and changes can be made. Apologies can be delivered as needed. Insight can promote meaningful and merciful actions. And even when the hurt exists, I can choose not to stay there. This weekend I chose to celebrate me...and was so grateful for those who joined in that celebration. I started my birthday festivities in the temple on Friday (March 3). I couldn't think of a better way to kick things off than being reminded of the many blessings the gospel of Jesus Christ brings into my life. I love the peace I can feel in the temple. I love all the promises I receive. The promises I make pale in comparison. Some people see religion as restrictive - a simple list of everything you can't do, but I see the freedom and safety in the counsel we receive.

After the temple, I treated myself to lunch and a little retail therapy at Hobby Lobby before indulging in an afternoon of pampering with a facial and pedicure. I finished my day with a decadent cookie from Dirty Dough.

Saturday (March 4) Jeff and Jonas spoiled me. Jeff took me to my annual birthday brunch (or lunch...depending on the year) at the Communal then we walked down to the Provo Bakery to pick up my cake. On the way home, we stopped at Costco to pick up my 4 dozen roses. In the beginning, Jeff got me one rose for each year of life. That gets a little complicated when it's not an even dozen, so we settled on rounding up to the next dozen. In a few more years, I'll be receiving 5 dozen...even though I'm still far from 60!! I love traditions! I love knowing what I have to look forward to...and I love that I don't have to reinvent the wheel every year.

Earlier that morning, Jonas sent me on a scavenger hunt to find my gift, which was money to take me to lunch at Magelby's in Springville and out to a movie. I love how much he sees me and the efforts I make. I love that he wants to do something special to celebrate me. Honestly time is what I value most - just time with those I love. Sure, there are always little, thoughtful gifts that are fun to receive, but I love that Jonas wanted to do something nice for me. I insisted that he didn't need to take me to the Magelby's in Springville (the actual, more expensive, restaurant), but he was adamant. We enjoyed lunch then we ran home to grab Jeff to all go to the new Ant-Man movie. It was such a fun day with two of my favorite boys.

Sunday (March 5) was my actual birthday. I was showered with cards, gifts, and people's time. Laurin, Casey, Carter, and Everly made me some yummy brownies. Carter even put lots of sprinkles on it. The rest of the kids gifted me a breakfast at Tru Religion with them the next Saturday. Scott, the Tanners, my in-laws, Katie & Greg all came over for dinner and cake. It was a nice evening. More often than not, I'm the one running the show behind the scenes. I can't say that I always feel comfortable being in the spotlight, but I love when I feel seen. I love when people recognize the efforts I put into our little family. I don't "need" material things, but I do need to feel appreciated...and I did. Happy birthday to me!