Level 45!

Recently, I read a meme that basically said that instead of saying that we're "___ years old", we should say that we've reached "level ___" because it sounds way cooler. I liked that so...today I reached Level 45! To be honest, this is the first time in my life where my age has finally hit me...and not in the best of ways. Over the past year, I have felt a little more of the physical aging process and the whole "mid-life" crisis thing (e.g., Have I done enough? Should I consider going back to school? Work? Is my life going to mean something when I'm gone? etc.) I sailed through my 30th and even 40th birthdays without blinking an eye; so why is 45 hitting harder? Who knows? And who knows the answer to any of those mid-life questions I've posed? I have honestly made it a matter of prayer, and when I do, I feel the need to stand still. I'm not sure returning to work or pursuing another degree is where I need to be right now. Jonas is still young and I am very much involved in his school and extra-curricular activities. Plus, I have had the privilege of time to be able to watch Carter and Everly. Maybe in a few more years, I might return to work or school, but for now, I think I'm where I need to be...even though sometimes I may question that. And overall, I'm extremely lucky to be in the physical condition that I'm in, but I can tell my body is slowly changing as I enter that peri-menopausal stage of life. Ugh! Maybe I'll get all my angst out in the next 5 years so I can rock my 50th birthday? I hope so...because I really do feel lucky to have been blessed with the life I have. I have done some pretty amazing things in my 45 years. I have had adventures traveling internationally and seen some breathtaking places here in the states. I have earned a post-graduate degree and worked in an incredibly difficult and rewarding career. I finally found my eternal love and became a mom (in all senses of the role) to some pretty perfect kids (although it hasn't always been a perfect ride). I have served in various volunteer capacities in my faith community. I have loved and been loved by my Savior and have come to know Him on a more intimate level. Life really is good...and so was my birthday. If you know me, you'll know I stretched it out for as long as I could. On Saturday, March 2nd, Jeff took me on my annual birthday date. We had breakfast at the Communal (which was where I celebrated my first birthday with him) then walked down to the Provo Bakery to pick up my lemon cake.

Sunday (March 3rd), we celebrated my birthday with a family dinner...and of course, lemon cake. More than anything, I simply appreciate being recognized and appreciate the gift of time that my family gives me. Amber, Jacob, and Katie showed up early to help Jonas and Jeff prepare my dinner. I love that I don't have to cook for my birthday, but it's also hard to sit back and just watch. Haha! Jeff, Jonas, and Dallin gave me gifts of time. Jonas gifted me a date night. Dallin is treating me to a new ice cream place in Provo (he actually missed the Sunday birthday dinner), and Jeff and I are going to take a trip from Michigan to North Dakota...the two states I lack visiting. Laurin gifted me her time too, but in a different way. She bought a sweater and embroidered "Gigi" on the collar then the names of my grandkids on the sleeve - Carter, Everly, and baby Beau (yup...that's the name of Jacob and Amber's baby...or at least let's hope so because it's on my sleeve now!). Scott, Rodney, Penny, Katie, and Greg came to help me celebrate as well. I love being surrounded by family.

On Monday (March 4th), I treated myself to a massage. I don't often allow myself time for self-care, but now that I have a little extra time...I figured I would put it to good use. Tuesday (March 5th) was my actual birthday. I continued my quest for self-care with a pedicure and a little retail therapy. My parents sent me some money so I bought a cute shirt then I went around collecting a few birthday freebies. Jeff thinks this is so funny...and perhaps it is, but I think it's just fun. That night, Jonas took me out to dinner (we're going to go see a movie, Kung Fu Panda 4, next week to round out our date) then Danny got to call me too. It was a good way to end my actual birthday.

However, I wrapped up my birthday celebrations with a sweet treat on Wednesday (March 6th) with Dallin (and Jonas got to tag along). Dallin inadvertently double booked himself on Sunday without realizing it. He is newly dating a cute girl, Audrey, and went to meet her family. It wasn't until he got to her house that Amber notified him of his mistake. They both felt bad, but to rectify the situation, I got a little date out of it, so I think it turned out ok. (Sorry...I forgot to snap a picture, but the ice cream cone was really good!) I'm grateful for my 45 years of life. I'm grateful for those countless text messages and phone calls and visits from so many people who wanted to celebrate with me. I'm grateful for where I'm at in life; even when I question if I've done enough or lament the process of aging, I wouldn't change where I'm at and how I got here. Here's to another incredible 45 years of life!