Southwick: Our Forever Family: Happy 9th Anniversary!

9 years! I can't believe it's been nearly a decade since my life changed forever. Little did I know then how drastic, and sometimes difficult, those changes would be or how incredibly blessed and happy I would feel. I can't compare marriage and family life to anything other than a day at an amusement park. We chose to go. We anticipate all the fun that we will have; yet, there are moments that elicit frustration and require patience as we wait for something to happen or moments of sheer terror as the ride takes unexpected twists and turns or moments of pure exhilaration at reaching new heights or moments of laughter and joy because of the company you're with or moments of peace as you wander through the park, etc. I can't separate my marriage from my journey as a parent. I chose to go on both rides at the same time. Our marriage and family life has been 9 years of just such amusement park moments. There have been moments when I felt my heart would burst because of the love, pride, or joy I have felt with Jeff and the kids. And, there have been moments when I felt my heart would shatter into a million pieces because of the hurt, anguish, pain, disappointment, judgment, or fear I have experienced. And still, there have been moments of peace and calm when everything seemed just right. Life is made up of these moments, but when you get married and have kids, these moments become amplified. I would not be the person I am today (and am trying to become) without Jeff and the kids. They have stretched me and inspired growth, both emotionally and spiritually. They have given me opportunities to know my Savior and to rejoice in Him. I know it may sound a little silly or perhaps counterintuitive, but I couldn't be more grateful for all those tears, frustrations, anger, etc. I never like feeling those things, but I like Who they inspire me to reach for and who they inspire me to become. More than that, I am so grateful for the man I chose to go on this journey with. Through it all, he has been my best friend, biggest support, and unconditional love. I am always amazed at how much I love him...more now than the day we were married...and that love grows exponentially as the years go by. I can be wholly raw and vulnerable with him because I trust him completely. He knows all my flaws. He knows all my dark places. He knows those things I don't like about myself...and he chooses to love me anyway. I am far from perfect. He is far from perfect. But, we are perfect together. It astounds me at how well we balance each other. I am grateful for his strengths that pick up my weaknesses. Amber recently shared a song with us by Ben Platt entitled, Grow as We Go. I am grateful that Jeff is willing to grow with me as we go on this journey. There will come a day (in the not-so-distant future) that all our kids will be grown and gone...and it will just be Jeff and I. Some couples may wonder if they will survive that "empty nest" stage of life; I look forward to it. Not that I don't love our kids, but I am excited to spend all my time with Jeff. He is my life, my love, my only.

So...how did we celebrate 9 years? With the normal, every day routine of a parent (e.g., getting kids to school, working, taking Jonas to music lessons, etc.)...and grandparent. Haha! On our actual anniversary, we had the privilege of watching our little grand baby, Carter, for a week while Laurin and Casey took a well-deserved vacation to Hawaii for their 2nd anniversary. (As a fun side note, they found out the gender of the next baby while they were on a beach for their second anniversary....IT'S A GIRL!!!) We were even "lucky" enough to help him through a couple of new teeth. Yikes! Still, it was a fun week watching him learn and grow. We all loved having him around (although, I think Jonas wasn't as used to sharing me with anyone else; yet, he was my biggest helper and really loved to play with Carter). We didn't do much during the week we had Carter, but I did find some time to take Jonas and Carter to the park then out for a little treat. I also took Carter to Walmart one afternoon to buy his soon-to-be sister a little gift. Other than that, we just hung out at the house.

Consequently, we decided to celebrate our anniversary earlier in the month. We planned a little stay-cation at the Grand America in SLC. Jeff really pushed to make this happen, and I was so grateful that he did. I was already tapped out from all the planning and execution of the holidays that I was about to throw my hands in the air about doing anything special for our anniversary, but Jeff insisted. We had such an incredible 24-hours away (while Gma Penny and Grumpy enjoyed a day with Jonas...and Danny survived at home with Evan, Kristina, and their boys). The traditional gift for the 9th anniversary is willow. I have to admit, these traditional gifts are fun and require me to be creative. I try to purchase something that could be useful, but I was at a loss as to what to get...until I saw the willow picnic baskets! I think this might be one of my favorite anniversary gifts. I bought this cute picnic basket for two, complete with its own plates, utensils, cups, blanket, etc. I packed it up with a variety of lunch type foods, grabbed some Martinelli's, and we were off. The whole weekend, we took a trip down memory lane. We had our picnic in the park up Provo Canyon that Jeff took me to before he dropped me off at the airport the first weekend we met. It was here that we basically promised our forever to each other.

We enjoyed our lunch then headed north. We stopped at Scheel's on our way to SLC. Jeff wanted to look for a specific belt, and I just wanted to look. We laughed when we remembered that Jeff took me here during our courtship to outfit me with warm clothes for the Utah winters. (He really wanted me to be comfortable so I'd agree to move to Utah. Haha!) We finally made our way to the hotel and then out to dinner. Unfortunately, we couldn't have dinner at the Roof Restaurant (because it's still closed from the start of the pandemic) where we had our first date, but we found a yummy Italian restaurant that didn't disappoint. The next day, we spent a few hours wandering around downtown SLC. We spent many evenings here while we were dating. Jeff would pick me up from the airport and we would go downtown to enjoy the Church History Museum or Temple Square or City Creek Center (all of which we wandered through that day) before having dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (where we chose to have lunch before heading south). It was really amazing to see the temple construction project. Jeff and I marveled at being able to see the foundation and footings that haven't been seen by the public since the pioneers built it way back in the late 1800s. What they are doing to fortify this temple is nothing short of miraculous...and meticulous. I relished the quiet moments we had to ponder our own spiritual foundations and the foundation we have built for our family. I think that might be my word for this year. I know so many people don't want to limit themselves to just one word, but I like the thought of having a focus (...at least right now. I reserve the right to change my annual one-word tradition in the future if I find it too limiting.). Where is my foundation - physically, emotionally, spiritually, in my relationships, etc.? How strong is it? What do I need to do to strengthen those foundations? In any case, after we spent some time in SLC, we headed south. On our way home, we re-read some of our early emails. We laughed about how naive we were in some of our predictions, and we enjoyed reliving those early days of our budding romance. I'm grateful we still date. I'm grateful that we still flirt with each other. I'm grateful that we still take time to nurture our relationship. It's been 9 years, but there's an eternity more to come.