Laurin Peru

Laurin returned from her humanitarian trip to Peru on Father's Day. She was exhausted and a little sunburnt, but very happy. She regaled us with all her stories and shared her pictures. I loved hearing her talk about the people she met. That is what I miss the most about South America. More than her "tourist" days when she visited Macchu Picchu, she seemed to relish her experiences serving the people. We are so proud of her...and can't wait to see what other adventures she will encounter in the future.

While there she attended LDS church services with her group.

A few of her friends in front of Koricancha in Cuzco.

Some of the villagers welcoming the group.

Laurin with her group at the orphanage.

Summer 2014: Week 2

Week 2 of Summer 2014 was pretty non-eventuful...for me anyways. Monday (9th) was a normal day. Chores were completed and laundry was done. Dallin had his turn at the dentist that day as well. He was not very excited about it. I've definitely seen him flossing and brushing more though! 

                                            

Laurin is still in Peru. She's been emailing us every day to relate her adventures. We are so proud of her. It is fun to read her stories about helping build "reliance centers", fix up schools & orphanages, and be able to bring hope to some of the people of Peru. She took down some nail polish and bubbles, which brought joy and amusement to the kids at the orphanages and schools. We can't wait to welcome her home on Sunday! In any case, Amber has been working (as a nanny for my niece, Kaia) so she's gone most days. Plus she headed to Stake Youth Conference on Thursday (12th) through Saturday (14th). (Sorry, no pictures to post.) The boys were getting their minds wrapped around the idea of a non-eventful week when the opportunity presented itself to go to Idaho Falls to hang out with Stan, Kristi, and their kids. It worked out even better because my brother, Michael (who lives in Blackfoot), was passing back through Utah on their way home from California so they transported the boys up there on Tuesday (10th) evening. The boys didn't stay awake very long as you can see. 

They were able to hang out until Saturday (12th) evening when my other brother, Scott (who lives in Salem), was coming home from helping Michael out and transported the boys home! It was a win-win for the Southwicks. I'm glad my brothers were willing to help out. The boys had a blast in Idaho. They love their Southwick cousins. Thanks Kristi for being willing to take on two more rowdy boys! Here they are all trying to cram into a hammock. Poor Grant got flipped out. 

With all the kids gone, Jeff and I had two and half blissful days with no kids. So what did we do? WORK! I wish I could say we took off ourselves and had some fun, but that was not the case. Jeff has been busy the past couple weeks (for which I am grateful and therefore, can't complain). He headed out early on Thursday (12th), after dropping Amber off at Youth Conference, while I stayed home and tackled refinishing our cabinets as well as three large loads of laundry. Needless to say, I was exhausted by the end of the day, but our cabinets look so much better! They have desperately needed some help. Jeff said that they were pretty rough when he bought the house and he hasn't done anything to them in the seven years he's lived here. Well, they're still not completely perfect but they look TONS better than before.

Saturday (14th), Amber returned in the morning and the boys got back later that evening. After Amber got home, we all decided to run some errands. We stopped at Costco to pick up some food since my sister and her kids will be staying part of next week with us...and this is where I found Amber. Silly girl! She closed herself in the freezer section (after both she and Jeff made their rounds to all the food sample tables). She definitely keeps us laughing. I really admire that about her - she doesn't care what others think and she is confident enough to be silly in public. All in all, it was a fun, productive second week of summer.

Empty Arms

Today was supposed to be my due date, if I hadn't miscarried my baby at nine weeks. I have been dreading this day for quite some time. I just wanted to sleep all day and wake up to a new day. I didn't want to be reminded that my arms are still empty. Since my miscarriage, Jeff and I have tried medications and even intrauterine insemination to no avail. My heart aches over the child I lost. I worry that I may not be able to get pregnant again. I worry that was my one and only chance of having a child of my own. There is a void in my heart that only seems to grow with each passing month. It doesn't matter how hard I try to love the four incredibly amazing kids I have - that void is still there. I want to have at least one child that I know is mine - one child that I don't have to share with an ex-wife or ex-in-laws. It is extremely difficult to reconcile myself to the fact that I have no legal claim on the four children I am raising. They are not even mine according to the records of the church; yet, I am the one serving, sacrificing and loving them on a daily basis...and will be the one to do so for much longer than their biological mother...and yet, in the end, I may not even have claim to them in the eternities. How can the Lord give and take away so easily? Why do I have to harbor this hope that causes so much pain and disappointment? 

Needless to say, I didn't want to be alone today so I drove around with Jeff while he took care of some work errands then we headed to Temple Square for the evening. This was where we had our first date. I have always loved the peace I feel walking around those grounds. I especially love sitting in the North Visitors' Center where the Christus statue is. As Jeff and I silently sat there, I simply stared at the statue. I was seeking peace and understanding when I realized that the Lord's arms are empty too. There He stood, beckoning all to come unto Him, but He is not depicted with crowds of people around Him. I pondered the significance of this. I wondered how much His heart must ache for the children He has lost. He had no child of His own - yet, He has earned each of us from his Father in Heaven because of His love, service, and ultimate sacrifice. Still, we have to choose to be enveloped in His arms. This realization didn't fill the void in my heart, but it did bring peace. I know He understands me. I know He has felt the void I feel in my heart. I know He knows what it feels like to be rejected by those He loves and serves. I know He knows what it feels like to sacrifice and serve without any gratitude or any guarantees that His service and sacrifice will be accepted by others. Just the thought that He knows me personally and can truly understand what I feel brought the needed peace I sought.

We left the Visitors' Center and made our way over to the Joseph Smith Memorial building where we had dinner reservations at the Garden Restaurant (good food but way more reasonably priced than The Roof). As we walked passed the towering spires of the Salt Lake temple, peace again filled my heart. Even though this was not the temple Jeff and I were sealed in, it reminded me of the promises Jeff and I made to each other and to God on the day we were sealed in the Mesa Arizona temple. Jeff is the rock I lean on. He has faith beyond my comprehension. I feel great comfort in knowing that at least I will have him for eternity.

The evening ended with a nice dinner with my favorite person in the whole wide world. A day that I had been dreading for weeks was actually a day filled with peace and love...that's why I keep smiling. I still have a void in my heart. I still long to have a child to fill my empty arms, but I know that, even when I'm feeling weak, I have the strength of my Savior as well as my husband to lean on.

Summer 2014: Week 1

Summer 2014 has started off with an incredibly BUSY week....actually it's going to be a busy month! I've decided to try to lump the summer weeks' activities into one post so there'll probably be one long post a week rather than a bunch of smaller ones. So let's get this week started! Monday (June 2) Dallin left for a week long leadership training camp with the Boys Scouts. This was a camp he voluntarily elected to go to. There were no merit badges or any sort of rank advancement activities. The camp was solely dedicated to teaching these young men how to be effective leaders. I was excited to see what he'd learn by the end of the week. In any case, Monday also stated swim lessons for Danny. Because we opted out of baseball this summer, I felt like Danny needed another activity. He has loved it. He is excited because he is actually learning how to do the strokes well.   

                                       

After swim lessons, we signed Danny up for the summer reading program at the library. He is an excellent reader and I'm glad that he is still excited about this incentive programs...because I think he'd rather not read during the summer. The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and helping Laurin get some last minute items for her humanitarian trip to Peru. I also had to take Danny to the dentist to get a couple cavities filled. I don't think that was his favorite part of the day. Poor kid! Hopefully, this will be the one and only appointment to get cavities filled.

Monday evening (because Laurin was working), I met up with her humanitarian group to fill her luggage with supplies. Many scouts used this trip as an Eagle project and collected hygiene kits, newborn kits, dental supplies, toys, books, etc. All the trip participants divided the supplies among their luggage. Each person took down at least 40 pounds of humanitarian supplies. There are 60 people on this trip so that is 240 lbs of supplies. I am so proud of Laurin for her decision to sacrifice time and money to go on this trip. I have a feeling it will be an experience she will never forget.

Tuesday (June 3) started off with another kid leaving - Amber. Amber left for girls camp that morning. Jeff spent the morning helping the young women get off to camp while I took Danny to swim lessons. Here are just a few pics from Amber's week at girls camp. 

                                    

                            

                            

                            

                            

                            

                             

Jeff got to join the girls on Wednesday night for Bishopric night.

                             

After swim lessons, Danny wanted to go to the library's weekly story/activity time (who was I to argue with that?!). This year's summer theme is: Fiz! Boom! Read! They are focusing on science so today's activity the kids learned about how to conduct electricity. Danny really enjoyed the activity. The rest of the day Danny hung out with friends while I ran some errands and found some time to meet up with Jeff for ice cream. He has been incredibly busy getting things settled for girls camp and work because he'll be going up to camp tomorrow.

Wednesday (June 4) started off like the other days...by saying good-bye to another kid, Laurin. Today Jeff took Laurin to the airport - Peru bound! I'm so excited to hear about her adventures. While Jeff was taking her to the airport, I took Danny to swim lessons. Today my niece, Kaia, also joined us. After he finished, we headed to the summer movies at Spanish Fork theaters. Today's movie was Shrek. Following the movie, we went to Costco for a healthy pizza lunch (haha!) with ice cream. The rest of the day Danny and Kaia hung out while I helped Jeff pack up and get ready to head up to girls camp. I have to admit that I am looking forward to July because all the youth camps will be over and I'll have my husband (and kids) back.

Thursday (June 5) Danny and I were on our own. We went to swim lessons then Danny invited his friend, Lane, to join us at the Museum of Natural Curiosity. This is a new science museum at Thanksgiving Point. It is a very interactive museum and I think the kids really enjoyed it! There are 4 different "venues" - rainforest, water works, kidopolis, and discovery garden. Danny seemed to love water works the best. We stayed at the museum for nearly 3 hours before I finally said we had to leave (but not before getting some ice cream!). I think it was a successful afternoon! I love to expose the kids to museums and any other learning activities. I love it even more when they actually enjoy it!!

Friday (June 6) wasn't as fun as the previous two days because there were chores to do. Last week, I took the boys to get Krispy Kreme donuts for their good grades. While we were there, we discovered that today was National Donut Day. Krispy Kreme was giving out free donuts but I didn't have time to drive to Orem...so after swim lessons, I took Danny grocery shopping with me where I let him pick out a donut. After lunch, Jeff and Amber returned from girls camp. Amber was a bit sunburned and tired so she unpacked and relaxed the rest of the day. Jeff, on the other hand, took off running. He was catching up with work and making sure all the emergencies were handled. Luckily, he was able to get everything done so we could still go out on a date. It was nice to finally spend an evening with my husband.

That brings us to Saturday (June 7) - FINALLY! Jeff and I woke up that morning and headed to Timberline to pick up Dallin. Again, I appreciated the alone time I had with Jeff. He truly is my best friend. That doesn't mean that we don't have our differences...it simply means that we always treat each other with respect and love as we work through them. When we reached the camp and found Dallin, he gave me a huge hug. I missed him! I was glad to see him. He seemed to really have enjoyed his week. He shared with us what he'd learned and informed us that he has signed up to be a leader next year (if possible). I know I've grumbled about the Scout program before (mainly the fact that I've felt like I have to nag the boys to get their requirements done), but the values they teach are vital...especially in today's world. I feel like the Scout program supports what Jeff and I try to teach in the home. I am so glad that Dallin is learning these skills that will help him to be the best person he can...now and in the future.

This was one of the team building/cooperation activities he completed during the week. He was assigned as patrol leader.

Dallin as he said good-bye to his scout leaders.

I just thought this picture was funny because the pack seems to be as big as Dallin is! Two of my handsome boys!