My 42nd Birthday!

 That's right...another year down...and hopefully several more years still yet to come! I have to be honest, my 40s (all two of them) have been more difficult than my 20s or my 30s. At times, I feel a little lost as to what to do with all the years ahead. In my 20s, I received my bachelors & masters degrees, served a mission, and saw the world. In my 30s, I established a career then I got married and had a family. Now...I'm honestly not sure what is on the horizon. I am still actively involved in supporting my family, creating memories, and serving the ones I love. While I am not currently "employed", I am busy managing a home and helping Jeff with the business while serving in a volunteer church calling as the president of the Primary organization. It's not like I don't have things to do to fill my time; I simply wonder if those things are "it". Should I be doing more? What happens when all the kids are on their own and don't actively need me? What am I going to do to fill my time when some of my current responsibilities wane? I feel like this is the quest of this decade. Life is about stages and changes. This is a transformative period in my life. While it should excite me (and sometimes does), it also fills me with apprehension and stress. For now, I simply take it one day at a time and pray to hear the inspiration when it comes. This week, I didn't just take it "one day at a time"...I stretched out my birthday celebrations ALL week! This should come as no surprise to anyone. For so many years, I didn't have a Valentine to celebrate Valentines Day with. I did have a mother, but Mother's Day was a little tough too, so my birthday became MY day of celebration. It's an excuse to give myself all those self-care moments that I should be doing regularly but don't always get to. It's the time I don't feel guilty for the little indulgences or for saying "no" to something. Needless to say, I love my birthday! There wasn't any huge fanfare; just many little moments of celebration. For example, on Wednesday (after I dropped Jonas off at his music class), I rolled through the Starbucks drive thru for a little treat with a gift card I found stashed in my car. On Thursday, after Jonas's ice skating, we dropped by Chip to try out their Lucky Charms cookie of the month. Simple things I don't normally do but decided my birthday was a good enough excuse to do them.

Friday was my actual birthday. I started the morning with my traditional pedicure before meeting up with Jonas for a little date he prepared. He bought me a ticket to see the new Disney animated film, Raya and the Last Dragon. It has easily been over a year since Jonas has been to a movie theater, and this was a cute movie to go see! I love that he decided on an event rather than a "gift". There is very little I "need". What I love most is simply being with my family and friends.

After the movie, I dropped Jonas off at Gma Penny's and picked up Jeff for the rest of my birthday celebrations. We headed to downtown Provo where I picked up my cake from Provo Bakery and had dinner at the Communal. It has been my birthday tradition since the first year I was here. One nice thing about traditions is that you don't have to reinvent the wheel each time an event comes up! I really made it easy for Jeff to know what to do and what to get me (he always buys me a rose for each year of my life). In between picking up the cake and our dinner reservations, we had a little time to kill so we walked over to the Provo City Center temple and sat on the grounds to chat. It was a beautiful day! Spring is here...even though it's technically still winter. When we got home, Jeff had ordered a few cupcakes so that I could have some lemon cake on my birthday and blow out a candle (or try to! Jonas definitely picked up on the Southwick tradition of trying to prevent the birthday person from blowing out his/her candle).

Saturday, I continued my celebrations with an afternoon tea with Laurin and Amber. If you would have asked me 8 years ago if I could imagine going to tea with Laurin and Amber, I probably would have cried and stated that I didn't know if that could ever be possible. We have had ups and downs as we have navigated a "blended" family life. It has been difficult (at times) to nurture a positive relationship when the hurts, pains, frustrations, disappointments, misunderstandings, etc. seemed so overwhelming. Yet, there we were, enjoying mini sandwiches and desserts at Taste in downtown Provo! I truly love and admire these beautiful women. I can't even begin to imagine our family life from their perspective. In some ways, I know they see all the good that has come to this, Jeff and Alisha, family since its formation. However, I know there are unspoken heartaches in all of us, but we are good. We love. We support each other. We fight for our family. We try to understand. And we continually move forward. It was a really fun hour to just chat and enjoy something "girly", especially since I'm constantly surrounded by boys.

You would think the festivities would stop then...but I kept them rolling for another couple of days! On Sunday, we had my traditional birthday dinner and dessert with the family. It was another beautiful day! Honestly, as much as I love my dinner, I mostly enjoyed sitting outside chatting and eventually taking a walk together. 

Finally, I rounded out my birthday celebrations on Monday. I went out to lunch with a couple of friends. I love these ladies! It is so therapeutic to realize I'm not alone in anything! They have similar struggles and triumphs. We swap stories and sympathy as needed. After lunch, I got to go babysit the Tanners. They got me birthday cupcakes and a candle to blow out. It is sincerely the simple things in life that mean the most. It's the single birthday candle in a cupcake or an hour set aside in busy schedules to go to tea. It's watching a movie or sitting on the temple grounds to chat. I received so many birthday texts and small gifts of acknowledgment. It reminds me how important it is to simply recognize those in our lives we love and care about. It doesn't have to be grandiose. It just needs to be sincere. Thank you to everyone who made my birthday special!

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day! Can I just say how grateful I am for holidays? I love little excuses to do something special or meaningful. I am also grateful for the underlying meaning these holidays represent. I know, often enough, we can get caught up in the commercialism of the day. We buy goodies and gifts, cards and flowers, etc. Some people may seem to be put off by the growing expectations of these holidays. I know sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't do more to keep up with all the new ideas or new items for sale. However, when I step back, I remind myself of what the true purpose of the holiday is meant to be. It's not a day to shower others with gifts and copious amounts of sugar; it's a period of time that we get to reflect on those we love. Yes, Valentines Day focuses more on romantic love, but I am grateful for the opportunity to express my love to more than just Jeff. I start the month with 14 little hearts for each person in the house. I write one thing on each heart that I love or appreciate about that person. Sometimes the ideas flow easily and, as horrible as it may sound, sometimes I struggle to identify 14 things...but there are ALWAYS 14 things (and more). I think the best time to reflect on love is when we may not be feeling it. I think the best time to show love is when love may not be warranted. Valentines Day gives me an opportunity to focus on showing that love and being kind. I am thankful for the several opportunities I had to reach out to others this month. I really appreciate the ways I was able to express my love for Jeff and the boys. Since Valentines Day was on Sunday this year, Jeff and I had an early Valentines date. We invited Krystle and Jordan to join us for dinner at the Viking Yurt in Park City. This was quite the experience! It had been slightly snowing on and off all day. When we got to the location we were supposed to meet, we were loaded into a Snow Cat driven sleigh. The snow kept falling as we climbed 1,800 feet for 23 minutes to an elevation of 8,700 feet! The views were breathtaking (when we could open our eyes long enough to see something when the snow wasn't pelting our faces). Even with the snow, the ride was worth it. The dinner was amazing! We were served 6 courses over a period of 2.5 hours. It started with an inviting non-alcoholic berry cider and ended with a cardamom vanilla ice cream with a delectable chocolate, marzipan dessert. In between we had soup, salad, a lemon tarragon sorbet, braised short ribs with mashed potatoes, and a cheese plate (with some very interesting cheeses). It was a perfect evening with good company, good food, and fun memories.

Valentines Day itself came and went with minimal fanfare. The boys woke up to a sugary feast for breakfast (one of the only days I am ok with eating cookies for breakfast) and for dinner, I prepared a nice meal with sparkling cider. Other than that, our day was spent in meetings, at church, or just hanging out with family. I really do love these people. I need them. I am grateful for them.

Super Bowl LV

Super Bowl Sunday! Admittedly, we are not a huge football family. We don't follow any specific teams and we only occasionally watch games during the season when there is nothing else on. However, we (or maybe I should just say I) love Super Bowl Sunday. After all the hustle and bustle of the busy holiday season, I get a little sad when the excuses to gather as a family dry up...so I make any excuse I can to bring the family close. I am happiest when I am with (and serving) my family. I cherish the moments and the memories we make together. So this game is generally the first big excuse to gather as a family in celebration of something. Laurin, Casey, and Carter came down for the weekend and Amber, Scott, and Katie joined us for the game too. (Jacob was at a wrestling tournament.) Our weekend was unhurried. We didn't do anything of great importance, but we did the most important thing - gather, love, laugh. On Saturday, Casey went skiing with Danny while Jeff and I enjoyed a quiet day with Jonas, Laurin, and Carter. Sunday brought on the festivities. After attending church, we put on our football gear (or just some red and yellow flags) for a knock down (or rip-off) game of flag football. After the game, we gathered in our favorite room in the house, the kitchen! I had prepared foods to honor each team that was playing in the Super Bowl. For the Kansas City Chiefs, I prepared some BBQ beef, Mac and cheese, and gooey butter cake (supposedly the state of Missouri's dessert). In homage to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I made Cuban sliders, shrimp ceviche, and key lime pie. Of course, we had a veggie tray (that I strategically place out first so the family grazes on that while waiting for the main course) and several bacon-wrapped jalapeño poppers to add to the feast. In regards to the food, I think the Chiefs won the majority of picky-pallets, but Tampa Bay won the game (and my vote for the food as well). We ate, we cheered, we laughed! It was a fun night and I'm looking forward to the next excuse to gather.

SHHS Wrestling

This year, Danny decided to do wrestling again. With COVID, we weren't initially sure there would be a season, but the state set some guidelines (which included only 2 spectators/wrestler most of the season, constant COVID testing for the athletes, etc.) and the season started. It was more abbreviated than last year, but it was at least something "normal". Danny did really well! He made varsity half-way through the season! He is a scrappy wrestler. He doesn't give up easily. Towards the end of the season, he hyper-extended his knee. He was cautious with it but pushed through nonetheless. Unfortunately, his season ended at regionals. He was positioned to be placed at 4th going into state. He just needed to win one last match, but during a take-down, he fell hard on the mat and smacked his head. I was only able to attend one match (due to the fact that someone needed to watch Jonas since only two spectators were allowed), but I was able to get a couple pictures. We're proud of how hard Danny worked this season and how much he is growing in his dedication to the sport. We're hopeful things will go even better next season! Way to go Danny!