Blue and Gold Banquet

Daniel was beyond excited for tonight's Blue and Gold Banquet! He had reminded us for weeks that he was going to receive his Bobcat. He loves cubs scouts and has great leaders. We are so proud of him. I remember my dad and brothers always working on scout stuff. I love the program and all that it teaches these young men/boys. He also received three belt loops. I loved being able to stand by Daniel as he received his Bobcat and receiving the pin. I feel so blessed to be his "mom". Way to go Danny!!

Yaay Krystle!!!

Today I got to join my cousins and aunt in celebrating my little sister, Krystle! She recently completed an RN to BSN program and officially has her bachelors degree in nursing!! I am so proud of her. She has worked really hard to juggle working full time and completing a full time bachelors program. I admire her tenacity and her perseverance. Now she will gladly tell everyone she's done with school FOREVER! (I know the feeling.) In any case, it was fun to see my cousins and have a little girls lunch out. It was also fun because we ate at Paradise Bakery and I swear they have some of the BEST chocolate chip cookies. Yumm!! Congrats again Krys! I'm sooooo proud of you!!

L to R: Shawna, Tammy, Me, Krystle, Sandy

Family Home Evening

Monday nights are family nights in the Southwick home. We are lucky enough to be able to have an opportunity each week to sit down with all our kids to talk about our weeks and to have a lesson/activity to support a gospel principle or concept we have been enforcing in the home. This past month we have been working on the two greatest commandments - to love God and to love others. We have been discussing how to be considerate of others and how to "Take 5" (thanks Grandma Southwick for the candy bars last week) to see what we can do to help others in the home and outside the home. Continuing on this theme, Daniel decided that he wanted to read a book that he had read at school (and luckily I had at home). The book is entitled, "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?". This is an excellent book that helps conceptualize how your good works and words can help "fill someone's bucket". It talks about how a simple "hello" or a smile can help someone feel good. Once Daniel finished reading the story, we each made paper buckets and filled out little notes for each member of our family. It was a really nice evening. I think sometimes it's difficult to verbally express gratitude so it was nice to read the notes, especially from the girls. I don't know how I got to be so lucky. I realize that I have moments of frustration, but I couldn't have asked for a more perfect husband and great kids. They each have a desire to make good choices and to be righteous. I have enjoyed watching them grow and participating in that growth.

 

A normal week

Well this past week has been fairly normal....at least my version of normal. I've slowly slipped into a weekly routine that seems to be working: laundry on Mondays and Thursdays, grocery shopping on Monday, cleaning on Friday, helping in Danny and Dallin's classes on Mondays and Fridays, etc. Plus I have my daily routines of breakfast with the kids before the girls go to school, working out with Jeff and the boys in the shop, helping Jeff answer emails and get organized for the day, etc. Things seem to be working out well and I enjoy the little non-normal moments that slip into the week. For example, this week my little sister, Krystle, and I went out to lunch on Tuesday and went to Crafty Wood Cutouts to look at some St. Patrick's Day decor. I bought a cute wooden "lucky" sign with a horseshoe and leprechaun hat that I painted and decorated the next couple days.

 

 

I like doing crafts and hanging out with my family so it was a "win-win" for me that day. Thursday night Dallin had another basketball game. Unfortunately, I'm kind of new to this whole blog thing and forgot to take my camera. He played well but they ultimately lost. Friday I again spent the day with Krystle as we attended a conference of addiction at UVU. She had to do so to finish her requirements for her bachelor's in nursing degree...and I went because I wanted to. Weird, I know! But I'm a geek and always have been. Besides it was nice to be around other social workers and to enjoy the workshops that were given on topics that interest me. (As a side note, Krystle received her bachelors degree this week!!! I am super proud of her. I know she has worked hard to juggle full time work and full time school for the past year!) Saturday I was invited to a brunch with some ladies in the neighborhood. I was grateful to have been invited because I've been feeling a little isolated. I'm excited to get to know these amazing women even better. That evening (and again I forgot to take pictures) Jeff's great uncle and his son and his son's family came over for dinner. It was nice to meet more of the family and to enjoy a fun evening with loved ones. All in all, it has been a good week!

One month

It has been one month since I married my prince charming. I can't believe how quickly this month has flown by...and how blessed I feel. I won't begin to pretend this has been an easy month, but I couldn't have asked for a better, more patient, loving, compassionate, eternal companion to help me through the bumps as I've tried to find my place in this existing family unit or as I've tried to define my new role in the house and community or as I've tried to discover who Alisha Southwick is while I've said good-bye to my life as Alisha Shumway. There have been moments where I've longed to have a manual on how to parent children that are already grown. I have ached for guidance as I've tried to navigate my way around this new role as "mother". I don't think I've ever prayed more earnestly than I have at this time in my life. I just want to do right. I was never prepared for what life could be like stepping into an existing family. There were never any Young Women's lessons on how to be a step-mom or how to deal with ex-in-laws. I know Jeff and I talked at length about these concerns prior to marriage, but it's one of those situations that no matter how prepared you may think you are - you really aren't. How do you handle feeling like a fake mom because you're not the biological mom? How do you feel like a mom to children who didn't even know you 9 months ago? What does being a mom feel like? How do I find the balance between being compassionate and understanding to the changes the kids are going through, but also being true to myself and assertive in requiring consideration (e.g., doing chores, helping out around the house, etc.) in return? I can't say that I've found many answers to any of these questions or that any of the options I've tried have been the right ones, but I can say that I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything. I don't know what it's like to have a biological child, but I do know what it's like to love these children and desire only the best for them. I may not know what it's like to experience all the growing up years for children from infancy through toddlerhood, but I do know what it's like to enjoy the successes of these kids and ache with them during their difficult moments. I know what it's like to feel excited when it's time for them to come home from school and to hear about their days. I know what it feels like to hear "thank-you" when you didn't think anyone was paying attention to what you'd done. I know the joy I feel when the girls open up to me about their days or their friends or their school struggles. I know the love I feel when I see the admiration and appreciation in the eyes of my eternal companion. There is no manual on the "how-to's" of life...for anyone, but I know to whom I can go to seek guidance and comfort. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I am grateful to know that I was divinely led to Jeff and that we are meant to be together. I lean on that knowledge in times when I feel like the adversary is trying to discourage me...and I lean on Jeff. I am grateful for his strength and his faith. I am grateful for his patience and his compassion. It's been one month...and I look forward to the many months, years and decades ahead. (Below is a picture of one of the highlights of my week. This little note was waiting for me on my bed after a long day. I am grateful to have a "son" (actually two "sons" and two "daughters") who is so caring. It's the little things like this that have made the past month one of the best ever!)

Presidents' Day

Today the kids had the day off from school so we decided to have a little family fun! We took the kids to the Orem Rec Center to go swimming. This was a new experience for me. Usually swimming involves hot days and lots of sunshine. This was not the case. Instead I had to bundle up over my swimsuit to survive the mid 30 temps outside to get to the rec center then bundle up again when I was leaving and hope my wet hair didn't freeze! Still we all had fun. It was nice to imagine warmer days and anticipate Spring...which everyone tells me is just around the corner...but I will believe it when I see it. After we went swimming, we took the kids to what I believe is the Jeff Southwick family choice of restaurants - Sizzlers. It was a fun family day!

Danny getting ready to dive off!

Dallin - vertical in the air.

 Jeff attempting one of his many flips - he was actually pretty successful.

Jeff and the girls

Full tummies and funny faces - that's our family!

Valentines Day

As sad as this may sound, I've never celebrated Valentines Day with anyone I've dated previously. It seems that all my previous relationships had an expiration date right before February 14th. Instead, I would celebrate Arizona's birthday and pretend it didn't bother me that everyone was walking hand-in-hand, looking longingly into their partner's eyes. BUT this year had made up for all the previous year's combined!! On Wednesday night (February 13th), I helped the boys make their Valentines boxes to take to school the next day. I enjoyed working on this project with them. I remember how my mom would help us do this each year. I'm a little sad that Dallin will be going to junior high next year and I won't get to help him do this, but I was grateful to have this one year to do it with him...and the many more years to help Danny.

 



 



On Valentines morning, I woke up with a treat. Unbeknownst to me, Jeff had made chocolate covered strawberries and sugar cookies with peanut butter frosting (thank to my sister Krystle who provided the frosting). Yesterday, I had gone to the DMV to relinquish my Arizona driver's license (such a sad day); while there, Jeff had gone out to his shop and made the goodie plate. He wanted to make sure there was no evidence in the house (since he knows I'm OCD and if anything were out of place I would question it). I had absolutely no clue. It was the best "breakfast" in bed. I loved reading his card and teared up when I saw the inscription on the envelope: "To my wonderful wife". I finally have a husband! Someone for whom I've prayed many years. I have a companion and best friend. I have someone who loves me as only he can. I have someone to share my tears with - both happy and sad. Jeff has been so patient, understanding, kind, compassionate, and genuine. I don't know how I got to be so lucky!

 

 

 





After we got the kids off to school, Jeff and I made our way to the Provo Temple. Because Valentines Day is a popular dinner-date-evening, Jeff and I decided to have our Valentines date at lunch so we could avoid the crowds and so we could enjoy the evening with the kids. We also decided that we wanted to start a tradition of going to do sealings in the temple on Valentines day. What better way to celebrate the day than to remember the promises we made on our wedding day and to help those individuals who have gone before to make those promises too? There was an incredible spirit in the sealing room as we did this work. The emotions I'd experienced on our wedding day flooded my heart and mind. At times, I still can't believe how lucky I am. After we finished in the temple, Jeff took me to eat at Mimi's Cafe (I love their muffins!) then we swung by Deseret Book. A few years ago, I had received a set of scriptures from my parents for Christmas. I had specifically requested that my name not be printed on them at that time. Even though I would verbalize that there was no hope that I would ever be married, I always longed to be able to put my married name on those scriptures. Well today I was able to do just that.

 

 

 

That evening, I made stuffed shells (because the sauce is RED) with a green salad and PINK lemonade for dinner, which we got to eat on the "fancy" plates (that Daniel likes to call them). I also made some chocolate-strawberry cakes for dessert. I have never been a whiz in the kitchen...and I've never had a reason to be, but now with Jeff and the kids I have found myself enjoying the kitchen more and looking forward to making fun holiday meals for everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

I seriously couldn't have asked for a better Valentines Day. From start to finish, it was a perfect day. I don't know how I got to be so lucky to feel so much love from Jeff and the kids. I have been especially impressed with how well the kids have opened their hearts to me and I couldn't have picked a more perfect husband. I love you all!

 

Daniel's Friendship Program

Danny had been anxiously awaiting this moment for quite some time...finally his Friendship Program! He had been reminding Jeff and I about the date and time for weeks prior. Moreover, he planned what he would wear (the silver vest he wore at the wedding) and made sure I washed it right (he gave me instructions on how to do so). The whole second grade class put on a program about Friendship. It was really well done and we enjoyed watching it. Daniel had a speaking part and recited a poem with his class. He spoke very clearly and could be heard in the back of the room (and maybe in other parts of the school as well). I loved all the songs. I especially loved it when Daniel would point to Jeff and I when he sang the words, "I love you." Danny has always been a caring, loving, accepting boy. I have admired this trait about him. He loves life and he deeply loves his family. What a lucky woman I am to be a part of that family and to hear Daniel call me "mom"...a title I pray that I may live up to every day.

Dallin's Basketball Game

This week was a pretty normal one in the Southwick home...which means BUSY!! In addition to the normal school/scouts/YW routine, Dallin had a couple basketball games, Daniel had a program and it was Valentines Day. Dallin has been playing in an accelerated basketball team since fall. This week was a single-elimination tournament for one of the leagues he's been playing in. He starts a new league/tournament this upcoming week. It has been fun to watch him play. Dallin can fly! He is super fast and not afraid to be aggressive...as his fouls can sometimes prove. It has been awesome to see his overall imrpovement as his seasons progress. Dallin's team won their first game on Monday (February 11th) by 4 points, but lost the game on Saturday (February 16th) in overtime. Dallin played great during both games. On Saturday, he was the player who got the ball to the hoop to tie the game. It was a nail-biter all the way through. We are so proud of how well he has played and his dedication and comittment to the team. Here are just a few pictures from Monday's game. Dallin is #1.

Thank you! and Jordan's birthday

Today Jeff and I treated his parents to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory (thanks Stan and Kristi for the gift card!) and to see the Young Ambassadors at the Conference Center as a way to thank them for watching the kids and managaing the business while we were on our honeymoon. I truly enjoyed the afternoon. I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. They have been so welcoming and supportive. They are genuinely kind people. I look forward to getting to know them even better. They were such an integral part of the success of our courtship as well. They stepped in as often as we've needed them and this was only a small way that we could say thank you. The food was great and the program was awesome. The cast were truly talented as they shared their message of living a life in harmony with good principles and morals. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and to have the knowledge and perspective it provides...especially knowing that families are eternal.
 

 

Jeff and I with Rodney and Penny Southwick

 



That evening we went over to Krystle's apartment to have an early celebration of Jordan's birthday. He turns 25 on Tuesday but he will be in school so we decided to have cake and ice cream tonight. The cake was DELICIOUS!! Then again it was a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting - how could you go wrong there?! It was a fun day! I loved spending time with Jeff's parents and my family.

 

 

Super Bowl 2013

Ok...so maybe it may not be the most spiritual thing to do on a Sunday...and maybe others may think less of me for even admitting that we watch it...but bring on the SUPER BOWL! Football is by far my most favorite sport to watch. I don't necessarily follow a specifc team or know all the stats, but I love watching the game. I think part of it is because football season coincides with my favorite time of the year as well. In any case, I also enjoy the Super Bowl because it brings friends, family and good food together. Since we didn't have much time to prepare, our party was a bit smaller this year. Still, we enjoyed having my sister, Krystle and her husband, Jordan come join us...and help us eat all the food! It was a fun evening with our little family...even if the Ravens won.