Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!! I have to admit that this isn't my favorite holiday, but it's still a holiday...and it's still fun! I may not get into dressing up or begging for candy, but I like any excuse to make fun meals and have fun with my little family! We started our morning with a Halloween themed breakfast of ghost pancakes with "blood" syrup, jack-o-lantern smoothies, pumpkin clementines, and ghost bananas.

The kids then went off to school and I went to work preparing our fun Halloween dinner as well. That evening, we invited Jeff's parents and sister over to join us for jack-o-lantern pizza, a jack-o-lantern veggie tray, jack-o-lantern soda, and Frankenstein Rice Krispies. Yummy!

I don't know why these pictures keep flipping...but you get the idea. 

Finally, the time Danny had been waiting for all day arrived - begging for candy (aka Trick-or-Treating). The kids finished getting on their costumes and we headed to our church's Trunk-or-Treat first. I think I had just as much fun handing out candy as the kids did receiving it. There were tons of clever costumes. It was fun to see all the little kids dressed up. After about an hour, everyone packed up and we headed to Jeff's parents' house so that Danny could go trick-or-treating in their neighborhood with Aunt Katie. Amber and Dallin both had friend parties to attend. Jeff, Danny, and I were home by 8:30 p.m. It was an early night but a fun day! Now on to Thanksgiving then Christmas!

Dallin as a Kissing Booth, Danny as a Shadow Ninja, Amber as the Tooth Fairy

Dallin and his two friends, Tanner and Tyler

Halloween prep!

I can't believe Halloween is tomorrow! This month was a BUSY month and it has flown by! Actually, this whole year has flown by. I just want to put the rest of the year on slow motion so that I can have more time to enjoy the holidays. Seeing as that isn't realistic, I'm just going to have to enjoy each moment as it comes. Last week, I took the boys and my niece, Kaia, to our neighbors' house to pick pumpkins. Danny went for the biggest pumpkin he could find while Dallin and Kaia searched for small ones. Today we decided to prepare our pumpkins. Danny decided to carve his while Dallin and Kaia painted theirs. While they were decorating their pumpkins, Jeff and I were putting the finishing touches on Dallin's costume - a kissing booth. We had to be creative as to how to help Dallin carry it around (we used a backpack and a belt), but I think it turned out pretty well. Bring on Halloween!

Halloween Luncheon

Today my friend and neighbor, Cathi Chisholm, invited several ladies in the area to a Halloween luncheon. Cathi LOVES Halloween (and even that is an understatement!) and I love festive holiday parties so it was a great combination!! There is just something rejuvenating about getting together with a bunch of amazing women to enjoy an afternoon. Women need other women. I know men can do just fine finding a cave somewhere and secluding themselves from civilization, but women need the associations and friendships of other women...or at least I do. It was a blast! Thanks Cathi for hosting such a wonderful luncheon!

Me, Amy Ewell, Amy McKay, and Rachael Liddle

The theme was all about witches. I thought this was the perfect, yummy dessert for the occasion!

The whole gang!

Pack Meeting

Tonight Danny had pack meeting. This month they were focusing on the value of responsibility (one that any 9 year old boy still needs to develop!). I am grateful for the scouting program. I know I sometimes complain about the silly cheers and activities at pack meetings, but I feel the scouting program instills timeless values that many Americans have forgotten. Tonight Danny received another silver arrow point! I love to see his enthusiasm for scouting...I just hope that continues until he gets his Eagle!

Loooong day!!

This weekend, Jeff and I (and Danny, who went to play with his cousins) went to Idaho to help my brother, Michael, install central air in his house in Blackfoot. Michael bought a house that was built in the 1930s. It has had several renovations from previous owners, but no one installed central air. They had floor-board heaters in each room as a way to heat the house, but if anyone has lived in Idaho during the winter, you know that's not enough. My bro-in-law, Jordan (Krystle's husband), worked for his father's HVAC company for many years and knew how to install a new system. Couple that with Jeff's knowledge of electrical and gas systems and we had a dynamic duo! Still, it was a loooong 24 hours of work with only 4 hours of sleep during that period. We reached Blackfoot at 10:30 p.m. on Friday night. I dropped Jordan and Jeff off then headed to Idaho Falls where I stayed with Jeff's brother and his wife, Stan and Kristi. When I returned to Blackfoot the following day, I discovered that Jeff, Jordan and Michael stayed up until 3:30 a.m. starting work on the system. They then slept from 4:00-8:00 a.m., woke up, and worked (with only a few occasional food breaks) until 10:30 that night!! During the day, I helped how I could (mostly grabbing parts, helping Jenn paint, and making sure the guys were hydrated and not hungry), but Jeff and Jordan were the ones in the attic practically all day. We were lucky that Stan was available to help too! He saved us HUGE time by purchasing parts in Idaho Falls and helping with the final installation. Michael, who is still fighting intestinal issues that cause severe lower abdominal and back pain, helped as he could. There were several moments during the day that brought me to tears because I could see the Lord's tender mercies. It may sound silly, but I witnessed a miracle that day. I prayed that morning that the Lord would help everything to go smoothly because we were really trying to do the right thing to help out Michael and Jenn. I saw that prayer answered. I couldn't withhold the tears as I realized how much our Father in Heaven loves us. He loves us enough to care about a silly central air system. I know angels were there to help Jeff and Jordan. I felt completely humbled as I witnessed Jeff and Jordan's selfless act of service (despite the incredibly long week they already had). I have married the most generous, loving, selfless person I know. He is truly my better half. I am often in awe of all his strengths - physically and spiritually. He inspires me to be better every day. I am so grateful that we were able to finish that project. We drove home late Saturday night and got home around 4:00 a.m. on Sunday. It was a loooong weekend, but one that confirmed to me the love of my Father in Heaven.

This was the only picture I took of Jeff and Jordan...but this was pretty much how it looked for them all day!

This is the creative patch work we assembled after Jeff's foot came through the ceiling in the kitchen. It was the only "oops" of the day! I would say that was a small price to pay for the end result!

Journey Home: A Fall Choral Showcase

Today was Amber's first choir concert of the year. It's weird to think that next year we won't be coming to these concerts. Heck, next year we won't even have a kid at Salem Hills. Time is flying by too fast. It is just another testament to how important it is to enjoy every moment...even the seemingly non-enjoyable ones. However, tonight was an enjoyable experience. The choirs (as usual) did a great job! I loved hearing the different genres of music and how well the voices blended together. Amber is actually in 3 choirs this year! It made the concert more fun because I got to see her more often. I can't wait to hear what they come up with next.

Danny's last football game

Football season is finally over for both boys...now on to basketball and wrestling. Sigh! Actually, I like watching the boys play and am grateful for skills they learn on the field or court. Danny has had a fun season. He's really looking forward to tackle football though. I'm not as excited for tackle football with all the injuries it seems to cause; at least I have another year. Great job Payson Jaguars!

We've been Boo'd!

Last night we got Boo'd! Some family in our neighborhood dropped off some goodies and a note that explained that it was now our turn to share some goodies and Halloween cheer with two other families in our area. For Family Home Evening, we decorated orange sugar cookies (that I bought...I know...I cheated but time wasn't on my side after recently returning from vacation) and dropped them off on two doorsteps. The boys were our little Halloween ninjas. They ran up to the doors, rang the doorbells, and hurried away before getting caught. It was a fun night! I love that we are finally getting into all the holiday festivities. This is my favorite time of year. I start getting excited in September when the weather changes and the leaves start to fall, but now we're really getting started. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my anniversary!!! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

I don't know why some of the photos get flipped around. I can't figure out how to turn it back around so just stand on your head to see this one. :)

Home

Today we woke up, packed up, and drove home. It is about a 9 hour drive so that pretty much was how we spent our day. We desperately searched for the remaining states' license plates but only added one or two to our final 42 count. It was fun to talk about favorite parts of the trip and to simply enjoy being together. Sometimes I don't like the TVs in the car because it detracts from interacting...then again, there's sometimes I'm ok with the silence.

Once we got home, we had a little dinner before heading to the church for our ward's court of honor. Usually these events are held at a stake level and during the week, but our ward decided (after a few errors) to do one on the ward level to make sure each boy has received all the merit badges he's earned and his rank advancement. Dallin finally received all the merit badges he was missing. He only needs 2 more before he can earn his Eagle! Way to go!! Tonight he also received his rank advancement to Life. I'm proud of his diligence. It is not an easy thing to do, but he has set a goal and is working hard to achieve it. I'm a proud mommy.

Dallin also received his Totin' Chip award.

A silent loss...

I have struggled as to whether or not I should share this in such a public forum, but I have decided that perhaps it may touch someone, somewhere, at some time. Some of you may know that Jeff and I have been trying to have a child since we've been married (almost two years). I was lucky enough to conceive last year, but lost the baby after only 9 short weeks. It was a devastating loss...one I continue to experience. You see, the inability to conceive is a loss I experience every month. Infertility is a silent loss. It is the loss of something intangible and inconceivable to most people, but something that is very real to you. It is the loss of dreams. It is the loss of hope. It is the loss of a child...even if that child has yet to be born. I wish words were adequate enough to describe this type of loss. Many people know how to comfort someone after a death, but most have no idea what to do or say to a woman who is unable to bear a child. Jeff has struggled to understand this kind of loss as well. He has been blessed with four beautiful children. While he is still disappointed and saddened by our loss and very much desires to have a child with me, he is still unable to understand the hole I have in my heart and the pain it brings with each menstrual cycle. The only thought that has brought his heart close to the pain I feel is the thought of losing one of his children. It is a loss that puts a seemingly permanent hole in your heart that, if left uncontrolled, can have the potential to grow so much that it erases all the good things in your life. I have had moments when it seems that the hole has swallowed every joy and blessing I have experienced. Each month I struggle to maintain faith, hope and optimism.

Today I discovered that the second IUI (inter-uterine insemination) procedure was unsuccessful. I couldn't control the tears or manage the intense heartache. I desperately tried to put a smile on for the boys' sake, but all I wanted to do was to find a dark place, curl up in the fetal position, and cry. I don't know how much more loss my heart can handle. I don't know how much more pain I can endure. Yet, somehow I find the strength to move on. I know that strength comes in many different forms. Jeff gives me strength. He seems to have the ability to transfer his strength with a simple, long hug. He reminds me of the good things and quietly listens as I cry in frustration. My family gives me strength. Even though many of them are far from me, their heartfelt texts and endless prayers provide peace and comfort even when they are not here to physically do so. But more than anything, my faith in my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ gives me strength. I know I have a loving Father in Heaven and Elder Brother Jesus Christ who are looking after me. I know they have a plan for me. I may not know what that plan is, but I know a loving, caring Father would not allow me to endure a plan of pain and heartache. It often seems during these moments that I have more questions and confusion than answers, but I know I am becoming a better person as I endure this trial. I feel I have developed an inner strength and resolve that I haven't had before. I feel I have been more cautious with my words to others and more compassionate. I have learned to live in the present and not dwell on the future. I have learned to look outside myself. The more I look to the needs of others, the less important my needs become. I am not perfect in my pain; yet, because of my pain, I am finding a strength I have never known. Perhaps in my loss, I can find increase. Perhaps in my pain, I can find solace. Perhaps in my despair, I can know God. I can't say I have arrived at the point of being grateful for this trial in my life, but I can see the positive that is coming from it. Sometimes it takes my heart a bit longer to realize what my head already knows, but I'm getting there. I still hope to have a child with Jeff. It is something we both desire and pray for, but if not, I know (even though it is hard to feel it right now) I will be ok.

Doves have always represented peace and tranquility to me. Perhaps one of these doves represents the child I lost and the other will be the child I can one day hold. 

Ashlee's wedding

Today was Ashlee's wedding; however, the festivities didn't start until the afternoon so we took the boys to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science in the morning. Because of our membership to Thanksgiving Point, we got into the museum for free (as a part of the ASTC passport program). We enjoyed seeing the whale exhibit and experimenting in the Space Odyssey area. We wandered through other parts of the museum as well.

View of the Denver skyline from the museum.

Before going back to the hotel to change, we stopped by the Denver LDS temple. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to go in (and Danny's not old enough yet), but we walked around the temple grounds and enjoyed the peace we felt there. 

Finally, it was time to head to the wedding. Ashlee got married at a rustic bed and breakfast in Pine Grove (a small town about 30 minutes from Denver). This was the first non-LDS wedding the boys attended. It was a beautiful ceremony, but something seemed to be missing...and both of the boys noted that. Ashlee and her new husband, Joe, are a great couple, but it was sad to hear "until death do you part". I am grateful that I don't have to be separated from Jeff at death. I'm grateful for the priesthood power (God's power given to men on the earth) that binds us together here and hereafter. The wedding and the setting were beautiful. After the ceremony, there was dinner and dancing. We enjoyed yummy soups and salads before dancing off the calories. We stayed long enough for Danny to dance with me during the "mother-son" dance and Jeff to dance with me during the "couples" dance. It was a nice evening to get more acquainted with Jeff's aunts, uncles, and cousins. We wish Ashlee and Joe the best of luck on their new adventures ahead. 

Jeff's aunt Tracy reading a scripture during the ceremony.

You may now kiss the bride...

The happy couple's first dance.

Danny swinging me around the dance floor.